misspepsquad16

Sat, 25 Aug 2007 02:07:53 GMT

To quote Anastasia
"Men are such babies"
That's a great movie.
You should watch it.
So someone I know is being SUCH a girl.
good god man move on!!!
I love her too but good lord get a hooker and a therapist and MOVE ON!

Guys are way bigger babies when it comes to breaking up then girls are.
Stop crying man!!!!!!!!!!!
I love you but shut up!

I know no one knows whats going on here and thats ok.
It's mainly for me.
much love
♥

Not my answers. But I will take this later.

Fri, 15 Jun 2007 18:31:23 GMT

A REAL SURVEY

1) What is your personality like? No one knows you better than you.
So what are your best and worst qualities when it comes to your
personality?

My personality... well i guess its hard to explain. I think that i have an AMAZING personality. YOu can usually tell what im thinking or how im feeling just by my facial expressions. Even though... i am a actor so if i really don't want you to know, I hide it. But i think I like my since of humor.

2) What are other peoples opinions of you? Do they generally like
you? Why or why not?

Well i guess they like me... they seem to like to hang out with me. And if I ever needed to talk or something they are always there. :D

3) What is your best physical feature(s)? Why? and what would you
like to improve on? and why would you want to improve on it?

Uhhh... I think that i have a nice smile in all honesty. And I think I have a cute face.. maybe. Idk... I could impov on a few things like not neccessarily lose more wieght but tone up some more and my skin.... well i hate acne :( It really makes me very insecure about myself. Im not gonna lie.

4) What is your favorite physical feature(s) of the opposite sex?
What is it that makes it appealing to you?

For me, its all in the face. Nice smile, great eyes, facial expressions. I mean a rockin body is always a plus but for me, they honestly don't have to have one. I like to feel protected when im with a guy, just as long as i can feel protected with them, its all gravy.

5) What is your favorite childhood memory? Why is it so significant?
and did it affect the way you are today?

Hmmm... my favorite would have to be the first year up to the cabins in North Carolina with just me, my mom, and my dad. I had a lot of fun that year. Its significant because it was one of the last times that it would ever be just me, my mom and dad. I mean don't get me wrong, i love my nephews to death but... well you know what i mean. Yeah because it taught me that no matter what, i would always have parents that love me. :)

6) What do you strive for in your life: accomplishment, security,
love,power, excitement, knowledge, or something else?

I strive for love. To show love, to be loved, and to give love. Love is deffiently one of the most important things in my life....

7) What are your most complusive habits? Do you regularly struggle
to break them?

Im constantly struggling with certain habits. I really need to learn to stand up for myself because... i tend to want to please everyone else and not myself... and in the long run it hasn't really been a good thing for me at all. One of the things that im struggling to learn is that before you can love and please others... you have to love and please yourself. Its just so hard for me because i like to see other people happy.

8) Is it easy for you to accept help when you need it? Would you ask
for help?

Depends on the situation

9) You and the person you love deeply are placed in seperate rooms
with a button next to each of you. You know that you will both be killed if
one of you doesn't press the button within 60 minutes. Furthermore, the
first person to hit the button would die a slow painful death but will
save the other persons life. What do you think you would do?

Only 60 sec? Thats not enough time for any decision like that in my opinion. Idk what i would do. If it was the person that i truely loved... i would try to push the button before they would.

10) If you found out that a good friend had AIDS would you avoid
him? What if it were your brother or sister?

No, and especially if it were my brother or sister

11) Do you believe in capital punishment? Would you be willing to
execute a man sentenced to death by the courts? If you refused the man
would walk free. Assume you know nothing about the case.

Yeah i believe in capital punishment. You can be forgiven but you still got to own up to the punishment. And yes i would do it... the courts wold have done their best to find the truth so...

12) What would constitute a "perfect" evening for you?

hmm...well actually theres a few... are we talking me and a significant other or are we talking just me or are we talking me and friends.. it just depends on who im with, if im with anyone

13) If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to
communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?

hmmm.. thats rough... i usually dont tell people certain things for a reason. Well i would have to say that my friends are great... and everything that i have told YOU before is the truth and my heart wont change... you know

14) You discover your wonderful one-year-old child is, because of a
hospital mixup, not yours. Would you try and exchange the child to
try and correct the mistake? What if you found out your real child had died?

Oh my... idk what i would do honestly... i would smack the doctors around.... i know that... id have to think about this one

15) Which sex do you think has it easier in our culture? Have you
ever wished you were a member of the opposite sex?

Hmmm.. well in all honesty both sexes have different challenges. id have to say they are about even in level in difficulty and no.... i don't want to be a man. Never have never will. i like men and i don't want to be one

16) You are given the power to kill people simply by thinking of
their deaths and twice repeating the word "good-bye." People would die a
natural death and no one would suspect you. Are their any situations
where you would use this power?

What the heck??? lol... no probably not. i wouldn't kill anyone even if i really wanted to

17) What's the one thing in this life that you really want?

Complete and uder happiness

18) Whom do you admire most? In what way does that person inspire
you?

I admire many people in different ways.... i don't just have one honestly

19) You have the chance to meet someone with whom you can have the
most satisfying love imaginable-the stuff of dreams. Sadly, you know that
in six months the person will die. Knowing the pain that would follow
would you still want to meet the person and fall in love? What if you knew
your lover would not die but betray you?

... idk... thats really tough... I would meet them probably knowing me... six months of happiness is better than none at all and i would still have those memories for the rest of my life. I would write all fo it down probably so i dont forget one thing

20) Do you prefer to be around men or women? Do your closest
friends tend to be men or women?

Haha... guys. i deffietnly hang out with more guys. If i were to list off my best friend and my closest friends... they would all be guys... trust me i still have female friends but guys actually listen to me more than females do and they don't run their mouths as muh so... men

21) While on a trip to another city, your spouse meets
and spends a night with an exciting stranger. Given that they will never
see each other again and you will not otherwise learn of the incident
would you want your partner to tell you about it? If roles were reversed,
would you reveal what you had done?

I would want to know. Secrets are not good. They cause people to lose trust. I want to be able to trust my spouse with my life. I would need complete honesty and yes i would tell my partner. It might not be easy but in the long run... its better to tell.

22) What is your biggest regret?

I don't have any regrets... you shouldn't have regrets. Everything happens for a reason and when you amek a mistake...you learn from it. No regrets

23) Would you be willing to murder an innocent person to end world
hunger?

nope

24) For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

My friends... if i didn't have friends... i wouldn't of made it this far...

25) Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as
your dinner guest? as your Close friend? and as your Lover? (3 different
people)

well you see... in my mind, my lover would have to be my closest friend and i would want to cook for them so they woulod also be my dinner guest...

26) If you could choose your manner of death what would it be?

as quick and painless as possible please.

27) Does the fact that you have never done something before increase
or decrease its appeal to you?

increase...im a curious person i want to know EVERYTHING! j/k... well a lot of things anyway

28) If you could take a one month trip anywhere in the world and
money were not a consideration where would you go and what would you do? .

Australia! Straight up... or down in this case lol. And the question is what wouldn't i do? i love Australia and i really have a heart for that place. i want to go there so bad.

29) Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by five
years to become extreamly attractive?

no way. First of all the only reason then guys would want to be with me would be for my body and i don't want that. I want someone to love me for who i truely am not what i look like. And you can do so many things in five years....

30) Have you ever considered suicide? What in your life is so
important to you that with out it life would be worth nothing?

Ive thought about it before.. ever attempted it, no. Im very happy about that. yet again thanks to my friends...

31) If you were happily married, and then you met someone you felt
was certain to always bring you deeply passionate, intoxicating love,
would you leave your spouse? What if you had kids?

No, til death do you part.

32) If you knew that your child would be severely retarded and would
die by the age of 5, would you decide to have an abortion?

No. I would never abort a child. Ever never ever!

33) Someone you know is brutally murdered and you know the identity
of the murderer but they are aquitted of the crime. Would you seek
revenge?

No. It's not my place.

34) What do you value most in a relationship?

Friendship, trust, love, and being with the person who makes you the happiest

35) What, if anything, is too personal to be discussed with others?

I obviously wont be sharing it with you....

36) When was the last time you stole something? Why haven't you
stolen anything since then?

uhhh... i stole some sticky tack off my teachers desk before... thats about it

37) What is the greatest accomplishment of your life? Is there
anything you hope to do that is even better?

Well so far just getting as far as i am in life without any major problems is a accomplishment... and the fact that i have made it this far in school too... cuz on my moms side only a few women ever graduate high school.

38) How many times a day do you look at yourself in the mirror?

Idk... whenever im in a bathroom and when i just wnat to look at myslef... i guess

39) What do you like best about your life? Least?

Wow... idk... i like alot of things about my life.. and theres alot of things i don't like about my life... i would perfer not to answer this one

40) What sort of things would you do if you could be as outgoing and
uninhibited as you would like? Do you usually initiate friendships or
wait to be approached?

Im already outgoing enough.... and yeah i start talking to people before they start talking to me... most of the time

41) In a nice restaurant, after getting the check for an excellent
meal, you noticed you were not charged for one of the items that you ate.
Would you tell the waitress?

Yeah... i always like to be honest and in the end... i usuallydon't have to pay for it anyway but more respect is put on my name so YAY!

42) When you are with your friends, do your interactions include
much touching-for example hugging, kissing, roughhousing or massages?
Would you like to have more of this interaction?

uhhh.... i usually dont randomly kiss my friends... thats a little awkward if you ask me. We hug some... like most people. uhh.. this is wierd. no im fine at the level of intersction going on....

43) Of all the people close to you, whose death would you find most
disturbing?

hmmm... idk.... i have a feeling that if our deaths went as planned... most of my friends would die in wierd ways... lets take Jon and Rahul for example... lol

44) If you could pass your whole life being entirely cared for while
in a peaceful slumber, with wonderful and entrancing dreams, would you do
so?

Heck no! Live life to the fullest!

45) Have you ever had sex before? If so, how old were you when you
lost your virginity? Was there anything anyone could have told you to
make it better? Do you think you would be better off if you had waited
longer for sex? Or started earlier? Was it what you imagined it to be?

Nope... im deffiently a virgin. :)

46) Relative to the population at large how do you rate your
physical attractiveness? Your intelligence? Your personality?

ok, above average, AMAZING!

47) Describe your ideal mate.

Hmmm... Someone who has the same thoughts and views as i do... i was once told "Amanda duplicate yourself, then turn the duplicate into a male and marry that!" For me thats a little too creepy but i think that you guys get the idea.. someone who is alot like me... not COMPLETELY like me... thats ust wierd

48) Describe some characteristics you don't want your future mate.

bad temper, alcoholic, pain in the butt

49) What is the way you think other people view you?

The goody goody christian girl. Whcih is perfectly fine with me cuz thats how i want people to view me. :)

50) How would you try to raise your kids? What kind of values or
morals would you want to instill in them? Is there any traits about
yourself that you hope doesn't show itself in them?

I hope to be a good parent, the kind the kids are like "my moms cooler than yours!" but if they do something wrong.. they will be punished... but hopefully i don't really have to worry about that.

51) Do you feel you have much impact on the lives of other people
you comein contact with? Can you think of someone, who in a short period
of time, significantly influenced your life?

Yeah i think that I influence others all the time. And yes i can think of someone... actually a couple of people

52) You are given a chance to return to any previous point in your
life and change a decision you made, but you will lose everything that
has happened to you since then. Is there a time you would return to? If
so,would you like to retain the memory of the life you are giving up even though
you could never recapture it?

Everything happens for a reason... at the time i might think i would want to go back but now looking back... everything that has happened has taught me something and those leasons are something that i really needed to learn. i just trust God and what is suppose to happen, will.

53) What would you like to be doing five years from now? What do you
think you will be doing five years from now?

In exactly five years i will be graduated from Southeastern University, starting my life and hopefully getting ready to be married (hopefully) and just begining a new chapter in life.

54) What is your most treasured memory?

This past year...

55) If you knew you could devote yourself to any single
occupation-music, writing acting, business, politics, medicine, etc- and be the among
the best and most successful in the world at it, what would you choose?
If you knew you had only a ten percent chance of being so successful,
would you still put in the effort?

Heck yes! All the way.

56) Would you like your spouse to be smarter and more attractive
than you?

Well hopefully a little seeing how hes a man and i believe that men are the ones incharge and the protectors so... i would hope so... and more attractive than me... sure :)

57) After a medical examination, your doctor calls you and gravely
tells you that you have a rare lymphatic cancer and only a few months to
live.
Five days later she calls you up and tells you that the lab tests
were mislabeled; you are perfectly healthy. Forced for a moment to look
death in the face, you have been allowed to turn and go on. During those
days you would certinly have gained some insights about yourself. Do you
think they would have been worth the pain?

Not really...no, lol. I don't want to have a heart attack that could of been prevented.

58) One hot summer afternoon, while walking through the parking lot
of a large shopping center, you notice a dog suffering badly from the
heat inside a locked car. What would you do?

Go inside the mall use the phone to call the animal police people...

59) An eccentric millionaire offers to donate a large sum of money
to charity if you will step completely naked from a car onto a busy
downtown street, walk four blocks, and climb back into the car. Knowing there
would be no danger of physical harm would you do it?

Dpends on the large sum of money....

60) Which would you prefere: a wild, turbulent life filled with joy,
sorrow, passion and adventure-intoxicating success and stunning
setbacks;or a happy, secure, predictable life surrounded by family
and friends without such wide swings of fourtune and mood?

hmmm... probably the first one... maybe

61) What meaning does sex hold for you? Is it just something you do
or is there something behind it?

There is deffiently something behind it. Sex is the bonding of two people who love each other so much that they become one. Sex in not something that should just be thrown around. Sex is very special and meaning full.

62) Do you plan on getting married? If so when and where and at what
age?

I really strongly passionately want to get married one day. Like i said... in my head how i have planned it... it will be after i graduate college and i would be about 22ish and up in the da church!

63) If you had the choice of one intimate soulmate and no other
close friends or of no such soulmate and many friends and aquaintences,
which would you choose?

what??? thats so hard and not fair... this is never going to happen so i wont choose MWHAHAHAHA!

64) If you wanted to look very sexy, how would you dress?

Oh i can think of a few ways... :)... but im not really trying to look uber sexy for anyone so... know one will know.

65) Would you be content in a marrige of the highest quality in all
aspects but one-it completely lacked in sex?

Yeah, sex isn't everything even though, it is something very special but i could be content

ok now THIS is the most emo entry ever written

Wed, 30 May 2007 12:29:12 GMT

I said I wouldn't but I did.

I am really sick today and I've been trying so hard to learn this stuff for class and I am SO bad at it I swear. My mom was trying to help me or at least she said she was. She kept taking my book from me and starting to read it and then start watching TV. I kept telling her "If you're going to help me then help me" and she'd once again tell me that she didn't understand what stuff meant and could I explain it to her.

Babe, that's what you're here for. My dad doesn't get being bad at math.He's the math genius. he loves it and is really good at it so when i'm upset and on the verge of crying and yelling he just laughs like it's funny or something. Like i'm being dramatic. I'm upset. I can't help the level of my upsetness and if he thinks that's dramatic that's his deal because to me i'm acting exactly how I feel.

I want out of this damn class. Sometimes I just really wish I could get my GED and be done with it. I won't do that because it's not as good as a diploma and it's only one year. I can tough it out one more year but I wish my parents could understand more. I think it's just been so long since they've been in highschool dealing with these kinds of problems. And I mean neither of them had the problems I do. I've always gotten hit on. It's just happened. and now people my age are hitting on my 15 year old sister. why? Couldn't tell you. No matter how i act or dress no one's interested anymore. I'm not sure why. Sometimes it feels like this huge relief and other times it's a major hit to my ego.

I just want to be out of school and on my own somewhere really far away from here with no one to be disapointed in me, no one to judge me for things I used to do or be and where I can be who I want to be instead of who I actually am. This small southern town has lost it's hospitality and charm and this small town girl has lost herself. I have no idea who I am anymore. I used to know who I was and where I was going. I knew what I was good at and what I wasn't and I was ok with it and accpeted it. Now i'm some freak who has to be good at everything and is inexplicably disapointed and depressed when she realizes she can't be good at everything.

I feel like I hate my brother and that scares the shit out of me. He is nothing but an annoyance. I have no desire to be nice to him or to include him. I want him to stay the hell away from me at all times. I don't want his hugs or his peace offerings. Tonight he came up to me and tried to threaten me into giving him a fucking bag of cheetos. I put it down on the table before he even got around the table because I knew if he touched me I'd really hurt him. I don't want to hate my brother but i don't have any good thoughts about him .Ever. I just want him to leave me alone. Let him leave the house when he wants and lie about whatever he wants just please keep him away from me.

As i read over everything i've just written i feel like a complete emo freak and it makes me want to delete it and I very well might cause i don't get this deep and upsetting where people can see. Yes you have all seen me sad and complaining and who knows. Maybe you all knew everything i just wrote is what really goes on inside me all the time. I didn't. I think about how much I'd love to change about my life all the time but until i wrote this I didn't actually think about how dark it all sounds actually coming out into words instead of jumbled thoughts. I feel like my life is just flying by and I'm not ready to deal with whats coming.

Yesterday I was a freshman with nothing but time to improve my GPA my extracurriculars and my attitude problems against my teachers but here comes senior year. My dad's giving all these speeches about how i'm not doing all I could but i really honestly think I am. This is all I can do from going crazy. I did enough to get by this school year cause all I could think about was how could I get out of this town and into some town that i could do what I loved doing and still just have my own expectations to live up to. I just want to live my life without everyone else on the planet's imput.

I've got a secret that no one knows. It's not a bad secret it's just not something i really want to share with anyone. "If you're not going to tell me your secret then why are you telling me about it?" Well because i felt like it. It feels good to know i have one thing all my own that no one can critique me on or tell me i'm doing anything the wrong way or it being something i shouldn't do. I'm shaking now. i can't tell if it's because i'm angry,tired,fighting back tears or a mixture and frankly i don't really care.

I'm really sorry if you read all that and your opinon of me was changed but i just really wanted to get all of that out. Today has brought out alot of emotions in me that i don't normally ,even with all my complaing, share with anyone. In fact reading over this i've never shared any of that with anyone. So consider your self lucky i guess.

Fri, 09 Feb 2007 21:58:38 GMT

SO now i'm pretty much over that one guy.
I think i am anyway...
I haven't seen him in about a month or so and I'm not really sweatin it.
I have to see him next week though so that'll be the real test.
:)
I miss stephie and sam.

Tue, 05 Dec 2006 22:06:10 GMT

So my myspace people got my GJ link cause i'm an idiot and theres stuff I wanna post that I don't want them to see. So I guess I'll be posting here more frequently

So kinda having mixed feelings at the moment. The guy I like says he likes me. He barely talks to me since he said it.
Kinda made me mad. But whatever. SO I figure out that the guy I like that said he likes me is still totally in love with a girl he's been in love with who hasn't and doesn't feel the same.
I kinda feel like that at the moment.
I heard him when he said he liked me but it doesn't really feel like it.

I don't know what i'm gonna do.
There's this guy at school who really likes me who I kinda might maybe like but I keep saying no cause of the other guy.
Help!

So

Thu, 30 Nov 2006 16:01:49 GMT

Myspace is getting expensive!
I've been avoiding booksamillion for a few weeks to try and save my money so instead of going out I stay on myspace all day. I wander across a few authors myspaces on accident and read excerpts and such and I'm completely hooked. Now I have a growing list of books I need to buy.
I need to leave the house and go somewhere free.

Thu, 19 Oct 2006 22:35:28 GMT

So I'm on a Disney Movie kick and I'm completely obsessed with watching Thumbelina but I have lost my copy so I've ordered the DVD from Amazon.
My church is in the parade on thursday so come watch us walk in our disney dresses.
....I don't think Thumbelina was a disney movie but it kicked ass so we'll go with it.

Fri, 28 Jul 2006 20:49:25 GMT

I broke my thumb nail trying to open a door.
It hurt.
Now my nails are uneven and it'll take at least a week to grow back
SO that sucks.
BUT I saw John Tucker Must die and it was REALLY funny^_^

Sun, 23 Jul 2006 02:35:02 GMT

Boys SUCK! All boys except Jack Sparrow. The rest of you lot SUCK! "Oh! I really like you! Let's date!" two weeks go by and no phone call...hmmm....ok..a phone call "*slurred* Hey kitty! Listen do you wanna fuck me?" I say "Uh...no...not really" him "Ok well then lets not go out cause why waste my money if you're not gonna put out. You really are a prude."
That isn't the only reason boys suck but it's a MAJOR reason.
Brenton and Austin don't suck either. My only other exceptions.

Thu, 18 May 2006 18:45:50 GMT

I'm trying to put a postive spin on things.
If I fail my finals I'll take summer school for everything every summer till I die. The upside? I won't get skin cancer cause I won't be at the beach.
If I fail math I'll only have to redo one semester of it cause I passed last semester.

The postive side is depressing me. I'm going to study. Love you Guys.

I think this is the sweetest thing

Sun, 14 May 2006 21:48:17 GMT

*When a girl is quiet --- millions of things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing --- she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions --- she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers, "I'm fine," after a few seconds --- she is NOT at all fine!

When a girl stares at you --- she is wondering why you are so wonderful.

When a girl lays on your chest --- she is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a girl calls you everyday --- she wants to hear your voice.

When a girl wants to see you everyday --- she wants to be pampered.

When a girl says, "Ill love you forever," --- she means it.

When a girl says that she can't live without you --- she has made up her mind that you are her future.

When a girl says, "I miss you," --- no one in this world can miss you more than that

****************************************************
When a guy calls you --- he wants to be with you...

When a guy is quiet --- He's listening to you...

When a guy is not arguing --- He realizes he's wrong

When a guy says, "I'm fine," --- after a few minutes, he means it

When a guy stares at you --- he thinks you're the most beautiful thing in the world

When you're laying your head on a guy's chest --- he has the world

When a guy calls you everyday --- he is in love

When a (good) guy say he loves you --- he means it

When a guy says he can't live without you --- he's with you till your done

When a guy says, "I miss you," --- he misses you more than you could have ever missed him or anything else

---repost this in 10 minutes and your true love will call you

post this if your a guy - "When a guy says he misses you"
post this if your a girl - "When a girl says she misses you

Thu, 11 May 2006 21:36:34 GMT

I'm listening to Country Grammer by Nelly and eating wendys. I'm in such a good mood! I've been spinning in my chair to Bowling for Soup for an hour and it's fun!!!!!
Light it up and take a puff pass it to me now!

Wed, 10 May 2006 13:20:48 GMT

So my date was ok. Who am I kidding? It was fricken AWESOME!!! I admit Jordan wasn't a great date and he was a REALLY bad kisser but the date got interesting. After the movie we came out by the snacks and he bought me more candy^_^ So I'm walking out eating my cookie dough bites and he wants to take me to starbucks for coffee(great!) and Robert is walking towards us and Chirs, with his brand new black eye, are walking towards us and Robert has this "I'm gonna beat the shit outta you" look on his face. He comes up and punches Jordan and starts towards me and now I have a huge ass hickey which thank the lord is fading fast but before he could do anything major like uh rape, Jordan came over and started beating the daylights outta him and they both got arrested. Jordan for fighting and Robert for attempted rape and fighting.

Jordan just called to check on me and to ask me out again and I told him I was fine and that I didn't think we had a great connection but we could still hang out as friends. He was a little disapointed but said he'd rather be my friend than not in my life at all. *cries* I hate to break his poor little heart but it just wasn't gonna work. Anyway Roberts in HUGE trouble and has to go back to Denver with his parents and he might be in legal trouble. *evil laugh*

Chris is totally groveling cause he got me involved with Robert. I'm not complaining ^_^ I get dinner thursday night and flowers today^_^ I feel so spoiled!

Mon, 08 May 2006 18:45:24 GMT

OK OK! I admit it! I skipped lunch and went to Taco Bell with Brian and Greg and we broke speed limits getting back to school on time! Happy now?!

I am now a ' Phan ' meaning I wanna have the phantom of the Operas baby!

Sat, 06 May 2006 23:03:17 GMT

DON JUAN (PHANTOM)
You have come here
in pursuit of
your deepest urge,
in pursuit of
that wish,
which till now
has been silent,
silent . . .
I have brought you,
that our passions
may fuse and merge -
in your mind
you've already
succumbed to me
dropped all defences
completely succumbed to me -
now you are here with me:
no second thoughts,
you've decided,
decided . . .
Past the point
of no return -
no backward glances:
the games we've played
till now are at
an end . . .
Past all thought
of "if" or "when" -
no use resisting:
abandon thought,
and let the dream
descend . . .
What raging fire
shall flood the soul?
What rich desire
unlocks its door?
What sweet seduction
lies before
us . . .?
Past the point
of no return,
the final threshold -
what warm,
unspoken secrets
will we learn?
Beyond the point
of no return . . .
AMINTA (CHRISTINE)
You have brought me
to that moment
where words run dry,
to that moment
where speech
disappears
into silence,
silence . . .
I have come here,
hardly knowing
the reason why . . .
In my mind,
I've already
imagined our
bodies entwining
defenceless and silent -
and now I am
here with you:
no second thoughts,
I've decided,
decided . . .
Past the point
of no return -
no going back now:
our passion-play
has now, at last,
begun . . .
Past all thought
of right or wrong -
one final question:
how long should we
two wait, before
we're one . . .?
When will the blood
begin to race
the sleeping bud
burst into bloom?
When will the flames,
at last, consume
us . . .?
BOTH
Past the point
of no return
the final threshold -
the bridge
is crossed, so stand
and watch it burn . . .
We've passed the point
of no return . . .

Mon, 10 Apr 2006 20:32:09 GMT

I really like this guy. I thought he liked me. He has a girlfriend. My life sucks.

Sat, 08 Apr 2006 11:41:21 GMT

HEY! I got my permit yesterday! It looks REALLY bad but who cares? I GOT IT! WEEEEEEE!!!!! LJ partay!

Mon, 03 Apr 2006 12:04:58 GMT

Kissy's for all of you lovely people who keep me sane!

Mon, 27 Mar 2006 12:02:03 GMT

Got my hair cut and curled^_^ What does everyone think?

Read Me

Mon, 20 Mar 2006 19:20:40 GMT

Random Caitlin Facts:
-I ADORE Reeses cups or sticks. King Sized one. If you wanna buy me some for no reason at all I'd totally adore you forever
-I love Hersheys Cookies and Cream candy bars
-I LOVE grande White Chocolate Mochas from Starbucks
-I hate people who chew with their mouth open and pop their gum
-I feel uncomfortable around Ugly People. I just do.
-I ♥ Stephanie
-I ♥ Azaria
-I love to read
-I love to eat. even when I'm not hungry
-Sometimes I eat waffles without syrup. just waffle and butter melted
-I LOVE Merchants Walk's popcorn with the butter from the machine. OMJ it's good.
-I love Wendys and McDonalds equally.
-I love cheeseburgers!
-Sometimes I eat them without the bun
-I love mac'n'cheese
-I like having a boyfriend to snuggle with
-I LOVE hot tubs
-I wanna go to Ireland
-I wanna to New York city
-I'm terrified of rape
-I feel safe in hospitals (usually)
-I have a very painful thing called Endometriosis
-I'm a Daddy's girl
-I'm a penny pincher
-I love Cream Cheese and Chocolate fudge frosting
-I love frosting in general
-I love the layer cake with a layer of frosting between them
-I love carrots and pineapple
-I love peanut butter
-I love Sailor Moon and despratly want a life like hers
-I have a Diabetic brother
-I have SERIOUS issues and you don't wanna be involved in them
-I hate people who are 'differnt' like Sarah. She's not different because she's herself. She's different cause everyone else is.
-I love my brother even though i'm mean as spit to him
-My mommy's my best friend.
-I'm in love with being in love
-I love listening to Spice Girls
-I love Backstreet Boys and NSYNC
-I love GeeJay
-I like to squish my peanut butter sandwiches really thin.
-I love Buffy and Gilmore Girls
-I love Disney movies
-I love Madea! She's the bomb!
-I love going to the movies with my buddies
-I LOVE babies. They're so adorable
-I love kitties but I'm allergic
-I'm clincally depressed
-I'm addicted to Tylonel PM and Percocet.
-I love Azaria's little brother. He's so cute!>.<
-I luff Andi-poo
-I luff Brenton Poo
-I love pineapple juice and anything pineapple flavored...except condoms. I had a friend at camp who sucked on flavored condoms. It was gross..
-I love my church and adore my youth
-Alec Monies makes my day

Tue, 14 Mar 2006 22:49:10 GMT

I'm terrified. I've been having suicidal thoughts and have been in a crappy mood and the pain is indescribable. I'm afraid of being home alone but I'm in to much pain to go to school. I need to go to the Peace River mental clinic but they wouldn't really help me in the long run. I'm going to stay in the pyschatric ward of the Florida Hospital in orlando for a week or so pretty soon. Someone hug me.

Mon, 27 Feb 2006 20:49:58 GMT

I hate being emo but i'm so fucking pissed.

-I'm really sick and probably can't finish school this year and will have to be Hospital Homebound for the rest of the fucking year.
-Jeremy's being a fucking asshole.
-People are dumping all their problems on me when they know I have problems of my own. Like say...calling all week after you've told them that you've been in the hospital for a week and you don't have alot of time to help other people right now. And I'm really not in the mood to help other people right now.

Mon, 13 Feb 2006 21:33:38 GMT

This is my baby Lola!

This applys to EVERYONE

Sat, 11 Feb 2006 12:43:08 GMT

This is so scary..since everyone on my friends list lived in the 90's...prepare to be creeped out by how accurate this is

You know you're a 90's kid if...

You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"

You can sing the rap to "The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air"

You've worn skorts and felt stylish

You yearned to be part of the Baby-Sitters club

You use to love playing with your MY Little Pet Shop

You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey from "Blossom" and that "How Rude!" comes from Stephanie from "Full House"

You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.

You wore a ponytail on the side of your head and had fluffed bangs

You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.

You wanted to change your name to "JEM" in kindergarten

You remember reading "Goosebumps"

"Fatty Fatty 2 by 4...can't get through the bathroom door"

You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, wax off"

You remember when AOL came out.

You're familiar with "The Incredible Machine", "Oregon Trail", "Number Munchers", and "Lemmings"

You have pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.

You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.

You remember the craze then the banning of slap bracelets and slam books.

You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence...Not...

You own at least 2 cd's from the following: NSync, Backstreet Boys, Spice Girls, Eiffel 65

You remember the shows: The Adventures of Pete and Pete, Hey Dude, Legends of the Hidden Temple, GUTS or Global GUTS, Doug, Ren and Stimpy, Captain Planet, Arthur, Magic School Bus, Rupert, Franklin, and Muppet Babies.

You remember the Dallas Cowboys winning the SuperBowl, and the huge bucket of gatorade dumped on their coach at the end of the game.

You also remember the hosts of Nickelodeon known as "Face" and "Stick".

You have worn a pair of leggings with straps on the bottom [so they dont roll up your legs, duh]

You remember great rock groups like Goo Goo Dolls, Green Day, Fastball, Jet, Lit, Semisonic, and Sum 41 back when they were good. [that is, before 2000]

You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the RED Ranger were meant to be together. (Who ever thought he was green is retarded..)

You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up"

You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates

You ever got injured on a Slip 'n' Slide

You wanted to be on "Wild and Crazy Kids", "What Would You Do", or "Double Dare" because you really believed in family fun.

You wore socks over leggings scrunched down

"Jingle Bells, Batman Smells, Robin layed an egg. Batmobile lost a wheel and Joker got away, HEY!"

You remember having a 2XL.

"Fat guy in a little coat!!!!"

You remember when the Lion King came out in THEATRES. and you saw it...twice.

" Miss Mary Mack, Mack, Mack, all dressed in black, black, black, with silver buttons, buttons, buttons, all down her back, back, back" SHE ASKED HER MOTHER MOTHER MOTHER FOR FIFTY CENTS CENTS CENTS TO SEE THE ELEPHANTS ELEPHANTS ELEPHANTS JUMP OVER THE FENCE THE FENCE THE FENCE"he jumped so high high high he touched the sky sky sky and he didnt come back back back til the forth of july ly ly he jumped so low ow ow he stumbed he's toe oe oe and thats the end end end of the elephants show ow ow

You remember boom boxes vs. cd players

you had a fettish for JTT. {if you're a girl}

You knew what it meant to say "Care Bear Stare"

Skip Bo was all the rage and you were the champ.

You spent every penny you owned on Tomagatchis.

You owned, or knew someone that owned at least 6 my little ponies.

you're favorite movie was "All Dogs Go to Heaven"

You remember Alf, the little brown alien from Melmac and Vicki the Robot from "MY Little Wonder"

You remember New Kids on The Block when they were cool

You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell"

You played and or collected "Pogs"

You used to pretend to be a MIGHTY MORPHIN Power Ranger and you owned a Skip It

You had at least one GigaPet or Nano and brought it everywhere

You watched the original Care Bears, My Little Pony, and Ninja Turtles

All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.(pencils.notebooks.binders.etc.)

You wanted to be on the cast of "All That" with the original crew.

You remember Kenan and Kel, and you LOVED the movie "Good Burger"

You used to wear those stick on earings, not only on your ears, but at the corners of your eyes.

You remember a time before the WB.

Zebra Striped Gum was your favorite and you tried to collect the tattoos inside.

You don't know what Clarissa had to explain, but you loved her enormous bubble gum wrapper chain, and pet alligator.

You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"

You thought it would be so cool to be Alex Mack.

You thought it would be so cool to be Harriet the Spy.

You know the Macarena by heart

" Talk to the hand" ... enough said

You thought Brain would finally take over the world

If you ever said "If you love it so much, why don't you marry it"

Sat, 11 Feb 2006 01:03:43 GMT

I really really insanly miss him. I miss being held so bad and just hanging out with him. He won't even talk to me anymore and when I try to talk to him he acts like I'm this huge pain in his ass so I'm avoiding talking to him. I was in the hospital the last 2 days and I think I want to tell him but it would be so painful if I told him and he didn't care. But if I don't tell him and he finds out he might get mad. So either way i'm pretty much screwed. Life sucks. Somebody slip him something to make him love me again? please? Only this time love me better and be nicer to me.